Okay, nubile blonde girls were giving bottles away in the street, so although strictly speaking it’s not an energy drink, I grabbed some Illicit Cola. It’s just like THE cola (the label acknowledges the elephant in the room by saying it “may taste as good as your favourite cola”) although it contains an unspecified amount of yerba maté. I think this is where the “illicit” part comes from. Yerba maté is not, of course, illegal, although it may cause oral cancer. Which is not really my idea of a party, just like it’s not “good to be bad” to smoke, or “rebellion against authority and society” to drink a caffeinated soft drink.
It actually tastes quite nice, which is a plus, but commercialised anti-authoritarianism will never be anything less than dopey,* and it also advises the drinker to “take a dirty big gulp and go wreak some havoc!”
Yeah. You do that, tiger. Go burp in the face of a five-year-old, or something.
