The energy drink for when you feel a bit rebranded

The whole point of Lucozade is glucose, not some naughty South American ingredient which we’ll probably soon discover makes your nipples fall off. It was rebranded as an energy drink some time ago, and still tastes as impressively horrible as when you had a cold as a kid. It doesn’t seem to contain caffeine, which makes it of the few energy drinks you can give to kids without them going vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvip!, but where’s the fun in that?

That’s all the energy drinks I can find. I suppose I should go through my previous reviews and draw some sort of conclusion, but I can’t think of anything less obvious than:

• Energy drinks are an expensive, if convenient, way to consume energy.

• The energy benefits are often outweighed by excessive sodium, sugar and caffeine. If you’re drinking one or more a day just to keep going, you need a better diet.

• When you’re a kid drinking medicine, you known that if it tastes bad, it must be good for you. This is not a good maxim to bring into adult life. If it tastes bad, it might be damaging your kidneys.

• Taurine? Gaurana? Bollocks. Eat it raw in its original form if you’re so hard.

Although I’ve tried all the energy drinks readily available in Wellington supermarkets, after looking at Wikipedia’s list of energy drinks, I’d still like to try: Bacchus-F, Gay Fuel and Pimp Juice.

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