Okay, one more

Irn-bru isn’t exactly an energy drink, although some countries sell a version called Irn-bru 32 which contains taurine and extra caffeine. I can only presume that 32 refers to the number of bulls they get to piddle into the vat during manufacturing. Or maybe the previous 31 versions made people go blind. It probably says on the website somewhere*.

For some reason the cans you get at New World have been imported from the UK, although it’s also brewed in Australia. There must be a good economic reason for this, although it’s a comfort to the sort of person who insists it’s not real Guinness unless you drink it in Ireland. Actually, we should encourage that kind of behaviour as a way of getting boring purist aesthetes to emigrate.

Irn-bru’s gimmick is that it contains 0.002% ammonium ferric citrate, which is also used as a contrast medium for medical imaging. Yum! It tastes quite pleasant and citrus-y. The online advertising is appreciably daft, like Tui with more than one joke. It’s probably the nicest Scottish thing you can buy from a supermarket apart from shortbread.

*I checked. It contains 32 flavours, all of them citrus-y. Imagine being the sommelier they hired to count ’em.

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