Relationships

There are many kinds of relationships. I’m not describing specific people here, but these are patterns I’ve noticed several times this year:

Solid couple sundered by cheating: Both people are equals, successful and glamorous, with the kind of high-profile relationship that everyone envies. Then one of them is caught cheating. Why? For the thrill? They end up breaking up because everyone hears about it, and these people have their pride, dammit. You just can’t get away with this in Wellington.

Sleeping with someone who already has a girlfriend: She knows he’s an arrogant prick, but she has low self-esteem, so what can you do? Self-destructive compulsions are funny things.

Unhappy couples bound by fear and chattels: They don’t like each other, but they’ve been together too long to change, and they jointly own too much stuff. It’s too complicated for them to break up. Besides, it’s scary out there on your own. I think a third of the couples together right now would be happier in the long run if they split up immediately. Not that I’d tell them that.

Sex with the ex: Often people who’ve remained friends with their ex-partners drift back into relationships of convenience where they meet up regularly just for sex. It’s like the selectively-picked highlights of a proper relationship – friendship and comfort, without pressure and guilt. It falls apart when one of the people starts a new relationship, though.

Cruelty: This is everywhere. People treating their supposed loved ones as less than human. A lot of it comes from low self-esteem, some of it comes from carelessness. Some of it is even by accident. Let’s face it, people do fucked-up things. Even when they should know better.

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