Another interview

My journalist friend Shannon has sent me a list of questions about the musical, reproduced here for your entertainment:

Fitz? What is Fitz? Has the rabbit had political ambitions before?
Fitz is a two-foot tall pink bunny with a Napoleonic complex and an ego the size of Norway. She was briefly Prime Minister of New Zealand in 2007 before being kicked out of office for charging $87,000 worth of carrots to her ministerial credit card.

The rabbit killing virus is beginning to wear off right at this moment as the rabbit population is slowly making a recovery. Does Fitz plan to campaign on this issue?
Fitz has a comprehensive plan to rid New Zealand of the calicivirus disease, starting with declaring war on the source of the problem, namely, Australia.

What are Fitz’s campaign issues?
Voting rights for rabbits. Carrot standardisation. Land reparations for bunnies – the first three feet above the ground.

Why should Aucklanders vote for the Wellington icon?
Because this way no-one gets hurt. She was born in Tauranga, incidentally.

Why should Aucklanders turn out for this Wellington show?
This Wellington show has been extensively retooled for an Auckland audience by removing all mention of bureaucracy and coffee and substituting explosions and full-frontal nudity.

Why have you focussed on the Auckland political scene?
Because of the imminent local body election! It’s happening, you know! Rodney Hide is stealing your fillings while you sleep!

Have you plans to tackle Wellington’s?
The Wellington political scene is currently collapsing under its own hubris and low-level corruption and needs no help from me. Besides, that’s what we have Tom Scott for.

What are your views on the formation of the super council concept?
The new super council motto should be “Money Talks”.

Do you think a similar idea could work in Wellington?
No, there’s not enough money at stake. Wellington doesn’t really want the bits it doesn’t already have.

After the play has run what’s next for you and Fitz?
Fitz will be entering rehab. I’ll be taking advantage of the many exciting opportunities brought about by exploiting her life story in musical form.

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