How to get a lot done even if you shouldn’t have to do it in the first place

  • Arrive home.
  • Remove flatmate’s washing from machine.
  • Put on own washing.
  • Clean kitchen surfaces of residue from flatmate’s lunch.
  • Re-wash dishes washed by flatmate so that they’re actually washed.
  • Attempt to clean concrete dust from cups used by builders.
  • Re-pack dishwasher packed by flatmate so the dishwasher will actually work.
  • Clean food residue from table borrowed by flatmate.
  • Clear aways bags of rubbish inexplicably left by flatmate in corridor.
  • Re-pack recycling scrambled by flatmate so the council won’t put a sticker on it telling us we’re dumbasses.
  • Shift flatmate’s large gas-powered barbecue away from the house so the painters can do their job.
  • Remove mess left by bloody appalling neighbour’s small dog.
  • Hang out washing.
  • Hang out flatmate’s washing.
  • Realise that landlady has nicked useful piece of ornamental spouting used by builders to direct water flow away from unfinished foundations.
  • Wonder if it’s an absolutely necessary part of the human condition to be surrounded by multiple fucking morons.
  • Fume.
  • Rant on blog.
  • Feel better.
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