Seven things I hate about Auckland

Auckland gets a lot of things right, but not everything.

The bloody ridiculous snarl of roads which disfigure the city and make car ownership compulsory.

Boring buildings. Nothing built after 1930 is of the least architectural interest or distinction, except for the Skytower.

Ghastly entitled jerks who’ve never done a day of actual work in their lives, who make their living from white-collar fraud and clipping tickets, and who can’t imagine anyone else leading a different sort of life or having different opinions from their own. Rich morons, in other words.

Sour-faced ladies-who-lunch and dull balding fathers in their mid-thirties wearing complex sandals.

The choking fug of a wet summer day.

Shop assistants who remind you of every dickhead you’ve ever met on Cuba Street.

The compulsion to own expensive cars or dogs or some other impractical and unpleasant extension of your ego.

Everything else about Auckland is quite nice.

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